I must say that I have these thoughts occasionally. I would think it's normal for any single college student to dream about meeting their future spouse. But I also must say that I believe sometimes, far too much thought goes into finding the love of your life, and not enough goes into the epic relationship you have with the ones some say are your true soul mates: your friends.
Now I'm not talking about the kind of love situation we all hoped would happen in the Lizzie McGuire series with Lizzie and Gordo, when you finally realize that you and your previously friend-zoned bestie are perfect for each other, fall in love, get married and have kids. No, I'm talking about falling in love with your girlfriends, going head over heels for the ones who will never leave your side, feeling certain that you would do anything for them at the drop of a hat, and at times, admitting that you are a little obsessed with them. I'm talking about a love that is strictly platonic, but it is a love that can be far stronger than anything else you find in college.
In my life, I am blessed to have a core set of close girlfriends that I know I can always rely on. These wonderful, beautiful souls have been the first to lend me their hand when I needed it. They have laughed with me over things that, to other people, just aren't that funny. They have stayed in with me for the night to watch Disney movies and eat cartons of orange sorbet, or perhaps duke it out with me over a game of Mario Kart. But they are also the ones who would go out with me and take care of me when things fell to shambles.These very special people understand me better than anyone else could. Through all of my best and worst sides, they choose to be there with me through it all. And for that, I am madly in love with them.
If you are in love with your friends, then you should know that there is a set of relationship rules and advice that you should follow to maintain that love with them. Friends oftentimes last longer than significant others, but not maintaining healthy ties can cause friendships to weaken over time, until they gradually wither away. So here are some things you should always remember, to make sure you and your friends are in it for life.
1) Don't ever let your friendships take the back burner. The love you have with your friends is something you should never, I repeat, NEVER blow off for a boy who has broken your heart more times than he's tried to apologize for. This is a lesson I have learned the hard way, and it is a mistake I strive to never make again. Love may come and go, but a true friend will never fail you. If you don't value your friendships as much as you value a relationship, then your friends will drift away from you. And don't be surprised if they aren't as welcoming when you run back to them crying after your relationship falls apart.
2) Find a balance. Make time for both your social life and your love life. If you meet a romantic interest you think is worth keeping around, you'd better be up front with them first and make certain they know that you can't sell your soul away to them. Otherwise, you'll go insane, and if anything happens, you'll end up completely alone. You'll soon discover that your friend time is precious, and no matter how special Mr. or Mrs. Right is, the time you spend with him/her just doesn't provide the same type of satisfaction that being with your friends does.
3) Tell your friends how much you appreciate them. Oftentimes, we assume that our friends just automatically know that we love and treasure everything that they do for us. This is not the case. Not showing your appreciation can lead them into thinking that you're taking their kindness and compassion for granted. It doesn't take that much effort to express your appreciation, just a simple text will suffice. Just to show them that you recognize how much they care for you, which is probably quite a lot.
4) Take goofy pictures. This may sound superficial, but you'd be surprised at how much a selfie of you and your friend after a long night of bar-hopping will make you smile a few years down the road. Pictures are truly worth a thousand words, and they reflect some of the best memories you will ever have with your friends. Don't feel like you're being obnoxious when you pull out your phone, stop your friend from whatever they're doing, and say "first, let's take a selfie."
5) Show genuine interest in your friends' interests. It's easy to get caught up in the business and excitement of our own lives, but don't forget that your friends have things they want to share with you too. Some of your friends are just really good listeners, so they won't always be the first to speak up about their life's happenings. Ask them. Show them that you care. It will truly mean the world to them.
6) Invest your trust in your friends. Don't give your trust away freely, but when you are close enough to someone, you should naturally feel like you can tell them just about anything comfortably and without a doubt that they will keep it confidential. Trust is one of the key components of a good, strong relationship. If you've been friends with someone for a long time, and you still feel like you can't share some of your most embarrassing secrets with them, then you may need to reevaluate your friendship, and think about why you can't open up to them. Good friends like to know as much as they can about you. They want to help you through personal things in your life that are bringing you down. So give them the chance to do so.
7) Remember the golden rule: treat others the way you would want to be treated. Don't snap at your friends just because you yourself are frustrated over something that has nothing to do with them. If you're not in the mood to talk, just tell them, calmly. Don't make them feel like they are the subject of your anger or stress. Be careful not to let other aspects of your life soil the way you act around your friends.
8) Communication is key. This is an obvious one, but I can't express how many times some of my closest friends (or I) have hit the wall and exploded in front of each other without any warning. Tell your friends when there is an issue, whether or not it involves them. Talk it out before things get too messy or anyone gets hurt. This is a very hard, yet very important thing to remember.
9) "Why so serious?" Make sure you're not just using your friends as a sounding board for your problems. Laugh with them and indulge in plenty of fun, crazy times together. Friendship is all about bonding over the fun stuff. While they will be there for you if you're having a hardship, using them solely for that purpose is a selfish, one-way street leading to a quick end.
10) Last but not least, as I said above, it's okay to admit that you are in love with your friends. Really. The faster you own up to the fact that you are platonically crazy about your friends, the faster you'll realize that you are leading a life that's full and enriched.
Take a little extra time out of your day to think about these meaningful relationships with your close friends. Always hold them close to your heart. And even if you are single in the romantic sense, never forget that you are loved by your wonderful support system.
